I was invited to a wedding

Or should I say that I was indirectly invited to a wedding
of a young Romanian boy of about 24 to a young Slovakian
girl of about the same age. What happened is my neighbor/landlord
was going to this wedding and they in turn invited me to go along. I
asked them if I needed an invitation and they said "no problem,
you’re with us’.

It didn’t start off too well as when we arrived at the restaurant
where the wedding was being held I immediately met the bride
an groom. And just as immediately the bride had this hurt look
on her face and asked basically " who ta hell was I ?". Of course
my better sense told me that it would have been easier with a
direct invitation and her reaction didn’t surprise me. My neighbors
told them that I was from the United States and that seemed to
make everything alright. She said "no problem he is American",
whatever that meant.

One thing about this Peace Corps gig is that when you start it is
always a test of one’s self confidence. For example, going to a
wedding where you really don’t know anyone. To boot, after
studying the Romanian language, and in fact still studying the
Romanian language (to the point where I can actually speak more
like a 5 year old instead of a 3 year old) I get to sit in the Slovakian
section. They’re speaking Slovakian and so of course I don’t
understand a word. Good thing I have a little bit of self confidence
and experience. I know that this lack of communication instances
will pass with time.

While I was sitting there not understanding much of the conversation
it gave me an opportunity to reflect on the differences between
the 3 cultures I have been living in through my Peace Corps tours.

Of course it is too early to speak expertly of the Romanian culture
but there are some obvious differences. I am going to speak about
the general social interactions and what I think are some differences.
First the Salvadoran culture is not quite what one would consider an
open culture. They are really the nicest people when you start talking
but you have to usually start with them first. I am not sure if the 12
year war they had is one of the main reasons for that, I am sure
it did. In Africa those people were really open. Of course being
white in a black society would make one stand out and get
a lot of attention (good and bad). But here, it is not quite as
open as the above two cultures. I have been told that it is a residue
of the Communist and Ceaucescu eras.

I have also another theory that I am going to investigate during
my time here. I think that to add to the Communist angle is the
fact that here it is more developed in a material way. It seems that
some of the problems could be a side effect of what I have to describe
for a lack of a better term as a direct result of too much material
development. It is similar to the States, the kids are in front of
the tube and playing computer games all the time.
We know that this could be a detriment to developing social skills.
I sense this suspicion when people see me or meet me for the first
time. It is interesting to think that this could be the result of a
collaboration of a Communist philosophy with a materialistic
mentality. It will be equally interesting to find out if my suspicions
about this behavior are true or false.

I also must be honest and mention the other side. If the Romanians
get to know you they are as generous and hospitable as they come.
It is really interesting to see actual physical transformation when
they accept you. It is so apparent and obvious.

Getting to describe the wedding, again it is as different from
El Salvador and Senegal as the distance between them. In El Salvador
I don’t remember anyone actually getting married. They moved
in together but never married. In Senegal it was really more of
an event where the women participated more than the men,
except the husband of course. I can’t describe a Salvadoran
wedding but I can an African one and there the women dance
the most. There is a big difference here in Romania. Here the
men and women dance, all night, I didn’t see them dance one
second without touching each other. The band played traditional
songs in the Romanian and Slovakian languages. I actually danced
some and again it comes back to self confidence. It is the first time
that I had to dance in their fashion so it took a few steps to get
with it. So you have to appear a little foolish at first before you
get it. Of course making my Romanian dancing debut in front of a
bunch of people I don’t know is always a day to remember.

I also have to say that there was plenty of food at the wedding
and also the local moonshine called ’ Toica ’. It is actually
pronounced ’tsoi-ka’, I need to have a keyboard that
puts a little ’s’ under the T for you to get the right sense
of the pronunciation. It is also an interesting note that
despite the fact that the Slovakians have been here
for 200 years there is still this ’he is married a Slovakian
girl’ thing going on. That Slovakian family has been in
Romania for over a 125 years but they still firstly consider
themselves Slovakians. As of this writing I have been a
citizen of Nadlac for a whole 2 weeks. So, of course be aware
that these are my first impressions and I am going to say
that as I learn more I will probably change or modify these
impressions as time goes on.

I also talked to my neighbor’s son and though he wasn’t at the
wedding he said that as far as Romanian/Slovakian weddings
go this was a rather small one (100 people only). He said that
times have changed some and that in a more traditional wedding
there are usually about 300 people. Now get this, 300 people per
spouse. Also, he mentioned that they also usually have 2
ceremonies going on at the same time. The groom has a reception
separate from the wife’s and each one would have about 300
people. Also, he also mentioned that there usually is this person
(always seems to be the drunkest one) that dresses up in a
bear suit with someone leading him on a chain. He actually is
kind of like the jester and entertains. I haven’t seen those type
of traditional weddings so I am only passing on what was told to
me. Hopefully during my time here I will get the chance to
witness those traditions.

But to conclude all this I have to say that it was one rocking
wedding and it is truly a huge social event with a lot of
participation. I have to give the Romanian/Slovakian wedding
ceremony a big thumbs up.